What’s your problem with Halloween?
You’re probably the person who doesn’t like to eat Turkey on Thanksgiving or blow out candles on your birthday cake. You probably don’t even set a New Years Resolution because “you set goals year round.” Get Real!! Now to top it all off, you’re gonna tell me that you don’t dress up for Halloween?…quite possibly the the best adult holiday besides Memorial Day?
If you don’t like to dress up, we’re going to solve your issue right here, right now. Since we’re making completely blatant generalizations about you, let’s just call the kettle black. We’re going to assume you also hate your job because, hey you already hate Halloween so it’s safe to say you’re just an all around miserable person.
Here’s 3 Reasons I Hate You:
1.You’re NEVER ‘Too Cool’ to Dress-up for Halloween.
- We get it! Not giving a shit about your costume means that you’re such a mature adult!.. You’re so badass. You don’t have to dress up for Halloween because “dressing up” is for children and people with children. (Shoutout to Rachel D.!!)
- HERE’S the harsh reality:
You’re just a douche.
- Here’s what to do: Get a hold of yourself and stop ruining the party.
Bottom-Line: You take yourself too seriously and you’re no fun. Let loose dude.
2.Halloween = Adult Dress Up = Explore Your Interests
- Are you thinking of becoming a cop?
- Dress up like your favorite NYPD Blue character
- Think you’d be a good construction worker?
- Go buy a vest and a hard hat!
- Revisit the conversation from our childhood. “What do you want to be when you grow up Britney C?”
- Really embrace the role, immerse yourself in the character. Give yourself a new name. Get freaking creative people!!!
Bottom Line: If you’re not creative enough to have fun with the fantasy that is Halloween, the least you can do is use it as a tool to aid in your upcoming career transition since we’ve already established that you hate your occupation because you’re a miserable human being.
3. Stop Complaining about the Cost of a Costume
- What if instead of complaining about how you don’t want to go spend money on your costume you actually learned to #Manifestit and create your own costume from household items?!
- The best part about Halloween is the ability to get creative with your selection of accessories and strategize how to live frugally while still enjoying yourself on this magnificent day of the year.
Bottom Line: Please realize that if you stop being an absolute lazy POS, you can free your mind from the chains that its currently shackled. You can probably walk around your house and make up a costume with household items and old articles of clothing. Worst case scenario? You have to explain yourself to everyone you meet- it must really suck to have to go to a party and talk to people!
Need some ideas for a costume? Check out our most recent @warhawkshockey post for some inspiration! :
To Sum It All Up:
If you don’t dress up for Halloween
1.You’re douche that is too cool to have fun.
2.You’re not seizing the opportunity to explore a different side of yourself.
3. You’re too cheap and too dumb to get creative.
Wow, I thought this was supposed to be a positivity blog?! I’m staying positive, I’m just being blunt and calling people on their BS!!
4. If all else fails, you can be a #Millennialhead for Halloween, just email me at
email@example.com with the subject line: Manifest it! Tee!!
No exclusions apply, void where prohibited.
(don’t know what that means I just always heard it on TV)