How to Make Mondays NOT Suck Mini-Series: #1

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How To Make Mondays NOT Suck is a strategic and sometimes satirical mini-series that will make your Mondays less ...sucky. Mondays are ALL about momentum. Previous to the figurative punch that your asinine [insert default iPhone alarm tone name here] alarm clock delivers to your face, you have absolutely NO momentum for the week whatsoever. In fact, after the four dopamine-induced snoozes that you slap down, you're basically operating at NEGATIVE momentum. In search of positive momentum, you race the clock to go through your mundane yet essential morning ritual- going through your mental checklist to make sure you don't forget anything. The shot clock is ticking and you have the ball, do you have what it takes to drain the shot? Nope. You left your phone on the charge and don't realize it until you pass your old middle school. Time to turn around.

Note: I use the word Monday as a loose framework for the day that starts your work-week- My office just so happens to start the week today, on an actual Monday. Don't be discouraged to apply this to your own personalized workweek, and I'm deeply sorry if everyone else's Friday is your Monday- That really sucks..

 

Let's Review: Why Does This Monday Suck?

You're achy and sore from your weekend that you are barely recuperating from the last 48 hours that you had ALL to yourself- complete an utter freedom. You sit in Monday Morning traffic as your mental state is a horrible stew of resentment, mental paralysis, and body numbing anxiety. You're probably late which pisses you off even more but let's be honest.. those extra four minutes of sleep were definitely worth it..

Your road rage heightens to exponential levels as you sit in a line of traffic for the duration of the new bridge that was built in order to streamline traffic, featuring six lanes, yet your mind is boggled at the fact that you STILL sit on the bridge for 15 minutes a day.

Then you get to your office. You haven't even had your coffee yet so you fake a smile and endure your coworkers half-hearted grumble that has found commonplace on your Monday Morning routine, "How was your weekend?"- Good, thanks how about you? as you slowly walk to your desk hoping not to engage in further conversation.

One Strategy to make Mondays Not Suck: Ignore Coworkers: Peter from Officespace stands by as coworker deems him to have a case of the Mondays from the Movie Officespace

Okay, But How Do I Make Mondays Not Suck?! What's the Solution This Week?

 

So since I am still channeling by inner Leslie Knope, after making the Local Newspaper for trying to save an old' rundown hockey rink - I thought what better way to celebrate than with a PERFECT reference to Parks and Recreation?

THAT's why this Monday's Theme is to:

One Strategy to make Mondays Not Suck: Treat yo self: Donna and Tom Haverford exchanging in a wonderful Treat Yo Self Ritual from Parks and Recreation

 

AND

Get a Massage.

One Strategy to make Mondays Not Suck: Funny Cartoon large man with beard and fluffy hair receives massage

I don't care:

  • where you go (You can check reviews on google.com)
  • what obligations you have to blow off to make this happen (Sorry Joe, I don't think I'm doing Legs today)
  • or even how much money you have to spend.. (meh, I'm on a tight budget, but hey you've gotta spend money to earn it, right?!)

I want you to:

Treat.

Yo.

Self.

Hell while you're at it.. Let's DREAM BIG!

Quit your job and book a one way ticket to Stockholm, Sweden to get an AUTHENTIC Swedish massage.

Okay.. too much dreaming there. Snap back to reality. I'm not going to Sweden.


Also, giving myself permission to commit to this plan couldn't come at a better time as the boys (@warhawkshockey) are just coming off an intense win last night and the first 4-0 start in franchise history:

Last night, at the Patsy DiLungo Rink in East Haven, the hype was real. A true test of wills...both teams leaving it ALL on the ice. When the smoke cleared - the Warhawks saw themselves the victors. The game was deadlocked at 2 a piece with under 5 mins remaining in the third when @joeyjules snuck in a backhander from the slot giving the Warhawks a lead 3-2. Leading up to that point we focus on one player in particular @rdecarlo07 - an ex Rocket who has found a home with the Warhawks. Richie played with a chip on his shoulder...scoring the Warhawks first goal on a beautiful rush, and tallied an assist on the second goal by @fsandillo . Fast forward action to under three mins to go in the 3rd period - and that's when things got ugly. Warhawks, killing a 5-3 penalty, felt pressure from the Rockets looking to tie the game. After a save by @steveo3100 a skirmish erupted in the front of the net that spread into the corner..punches were exchanged and several players were given major penalties and ejected. In the end the Warhawks held on to a 3-2 victory and have now improved to 4-0 to start a season for the first time in franchise history. #rivalry #EastHaven #undefeated #LetsGo #bigwin #RocketsRedQueer #WTB #pucklife

A photo posted by Warhawks Hockey (@warhawkshockey) on

Alright I got sidetracked but it's currently the only way that I can get my teammates to read my blog, so.. lay off..

So back to the massage:

If you're still not sold on the whole massage idea, I mean I don't know why you wouldn't be but..

Check out this article on how a Massage releases Endorphins :

"During massage or exercise, these endorphins are released, and this can produce feelings of euphoria and a general state of wellbeing.  The endorphins produced can be so powerful that they actually mask pain.  Physically active people recover from mild depression more quickly and physical activity is strongly correlated with good mental health as people age."

Yes, that's right the masked pain that they're referring to here is : The Case of the Mondays.

 

In Conclusion:

In order to make this Monday and subsequent Mondays NOT suck, find a way to book a massage.

You can even propose that your significant other do it for you if you wanna be cheap.. if you even have one..

Trust us, you're worth it..even if they don't think you are. See you next Monday!

 

BUT WAIT.. Before you go on your dandy way and go get an awesome massage:

Please take 2 minutes to check out the 10 Questions That Will Vastly Improve This World As We Know It!